It’s been three years. Right from the start, more than one-third of married men and women reported an increase in relationship stress since the pandemic started. There were financial concerns, dramatic changes to everyday life, and frequent disagreements when it comes to how the situation was perceived. Month after month, the stress increased.
At the same time, opportunities often emerge out of a crisis. For some couples, it was a time to deepen their bond in the name of surviving the chaos. So yes, the pandemic has most definitely affected marriages. But that impact is as varied and diverse as the people in those marriages themselves.
Follow the Money?
It comes as no surprise that couples who have struggled financially also reported distress in their marriage. It’s tempting to lump the lion’s share of blame on the lockdowns, etc. — and they no doubt played a role.
But what was the state of those marriages before March 2020? Is it possible that the dynamics set into motion by Covid merely accelerated or simply exposed cracks that already existed? That sounds like a good question for couple counseling.
The Marriage Rate
In this Bowling Green University study in marriages and divorces during the pandemic, the marriage rates in the U.S. dropped a total of 12% below than the anticipated marriages in 2020. This is yet another chicken-and-egg scenario. For obvious reasons, many weddings were postponed when mitigation tactics were implemented. Some of them ended up being canceled.
This trend sounds ominous but let’s not forget that America’s marriage rate was already at a record low prior to 2020. Not to mention, relationship success cannot be measured by statistics pertaining to marriage certificates.
The Divorce Rate
In 2019, the divorce rate in the U.S. was 2.7 per 1,000. In 2022, it was 2.3 per 1,000. So, it appears the headlines about mass separations were more clickbait than reality. In a 2020 study, 29 percent of married couples between 18 and 55 years of age stated that their relationship was “in trouble.”
In 2019, that number was 40 percent. Yet again, we are getting mixed messages. Therefore, as always, what matters most is what’s going on in your specific situation. Does “in trouble” describe you and your mate? If so, help is available.
Sex Life
There were easy assumptions to be made about partners being home all day together. They might drive each other nuts. Or perhaps they will be exploiting the opportunity to have more sex than ever before. But consider some numbers. In 2015 and 2016, sex between married partners increased.
After a major decline in 2018, married sex skyrocketed in 2019 and remained steady in 2020. It’s not an oversimplification to say that trends matter far less than what is true for you. Your sex life is unique to you and can be enhanced through communication and counseling.
Appreciation
There appears to be at least one measurable way that the pandemic affected marriages. Surveys found:
58 percent of married people appreciate their partners since the pandemic started. For couples who experienced financial problems, that number was 65 percent.
51 percent reported a deepening of their marriage commitment. For couples who experienced financial problems, that number was 60 percent.
So, How Has the Pandemic Affected Marriages?
As usual, answering a question like this is a complex and nuanced task. Something as all-encompassing as a global pandemic will certainly affect everyone’s life in many ways. Some of that impact may not be apparent for years. Regardless, the effects may be more about what was going on prior to March 2020. Those who were already struggling financially or emotionally may have experienced those struggles becoming more obvious.
At the same time, the events of the past three years have helped reinforce how resilient we can be. They highlighted the importance of intimate connections and social bonds. I’d love to talk more with you about all of this. Let’s connect for a free consultation soon!
If you want to learn more about how I think of couples counseling, stop by my marriage and couples counseling page. If you are in Minnesota and want to learn how to get unstuck, let’s talk soon. I’m in Edina and serve the greater Minneapolis area. You can reach me by phone: 612-230-7171 or email through my contact page. Or you can click on the button below and self-schedule a time to talk by phone or video.