The expectations for what roles each spouse needs to fulfill in their marriage have never been greater. In modern society, expectations have climbed higher and higher. As a result, there’s more stress in couples and more opportunity for conflict as a result.
I’m here to normalize the fact that we may feel so exhausted at the end of the day. I’m here to normalize that sometimes, we may be operating even at 90% and still may not meet expectations in some areas of our marriage. Here are some of the hats that we expect our spouses to wear in modern times:
1. Romantic Partners/Lovers: Being each other's romantic partners is a fundamental role for married couples. This includes emotional support, intimacy, and maintaining a deep connection in the relationship. I wrote a blog article on talking about your brakes and accelerators when talking about sex. Give it a read - I think it’s helped a lot of couples.
2. Co-Parents: If the couple has children, they typically share the responsibility of raising and nurturing them. This involves making joint decisions, providing a loving and supportive environment, and actively participating in the child's development.
3. Domestic Partners/Roommates: Married couples often take on the role of domestic partners and roommates. They share household responsibilities, such as cooking, cleaning, managing finances, and maintaining the home. This requires effective communication, teamwork, and cooperation.
4. Emotional Support: Married couples are expected to be a source of emotional support for each other. They should be there to listen, empathize, and offer encouragement during both the good times and the challenging ones.
5. Friendship: Married couples often provide companionship to each other, being a source of friendship, intellectual stimulation, and shared activities. They engage in hobbies, spend leisure time together, and create a sense of partnership and camaraderie.
6. Financial Partners: Managing finances together is an important role for married couples. They collaborate on budgeting, financial planning, and decision-making regarding savings, investments, and major purchases. Open and honest communication about money is crucial in this role.
7. Teammates/Business Partners: Some married couples engage in joint ventures or businesses together. In such cases, they take on the role of teammates and business partners, working together to achieve shared goals, make decisions, and support each other professionally.
8. Coaches: Married couples often play a role in each other's personal growth and development. They encourage individual pursuits, provide feedback, and offer motivation to help each other achieve personal aspirations and goals.
Expecting all of this is a LOT to ask of anyone! It’s no wonder couples find it difficult to navigate marriage. Flexibility, open communication, and mutual understanding are key to establishing and maintaining successful roles within a marriage. If you’re in Minnesota, I can help you communicate your needs to your spouse. I’m in Edina and serve the greater Minneapolis area. You can reach me by phone: 612-230-7171 or email through my contact page. Or you can click on the button below and self-schedule a time to talk by phone or video.